Athenian Rhapsody (updated) Από τους Φαϊνάνσιαλ Τάϊμς
Alan Beattie, FT International Economy Editor and FT Alphaville’s new A&R man, has sent us a rock opera by two parodists whom wish to remain anonymous.
We’ve done all we can to confirm one of them isn’t Ben Elton but we can’t give you our full reassurance.
Our sincerest apologies to Mercury, May, Taylor and Deacon.
To the tune of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody
Athenian Rhapsody (The Ballad of Papandreou)
Is this our real debt?
Is this just fantasy?
Won in a landslide
Now I’m facing austerity
I opened the books
And said “are you kidding me?”
Did what we did to get into the Eurozone
So there was never a need to grow
Euro’s high, rates stayed low
Anything to enter, didn’t really matter to Greece, to Greece
Papa, just told the truth
No one’s paying any tax
And my colleagues here are hacks
Papa, Greece had everything
But the bankers came and took it all away
Papa, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Goldman told us it would work
and now I sit here like a jerk
They were wrong, they were wrong, that swap illusion’s shattered
Too late, the market crashed
My country’s on the brink
And my bond spreads really stink
Goodbye to the good life – it’s got to go
I never thought our bonds could trade so low
Papa, ooh ooh ooh ooh – (anyway my yields go)
No one wants to buy
And some folks wish they never had bought at all…
We need some euros need some euros very fast
Mykonos, Skiathos, you can sell them to China
DSK and Regling – say our debt is frightening – Hey,
Papandreou runs the show – he’s out of dough oh oh oh
He’s a professor from Minnesota
He’s a professor leading his country
Found that the Greeks had been cooking the books
Bail in – bail out – will you bail us out?
ECB. Nein! We will not bail you out
Bail us out
IMF. We will not bail you out
Bail us out PSI. We will not bail you out
Bail us out
Will not bail you out
Bail us out (never)
Never bail you out
Bail us out
Never bail you out – ooh ooh ooh
Nein, nein nein nein nein nein nein!
Oh mama Merkel, mama Merkel, mama Merkel we’ll default
The Bundestag has no package set aside for Greece
China: So you think you can stiff me and just say goodbye?
So you think I’ll just hold and continue to buy?
You’ll pay us – we’ll want more than Piraeus Ships, airports and banks, as for your unions, no thanks!
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Once we had an empire
That is history How did this transpire? – back to Minnesota for me.
Goodbye to the Euro…